Did you know that a child’s brain is not fully developed till age 25?
Child brain development is lengthy and complex. One key point I emphasise with parents I coach at Mind Station is this difference.
As cited in Daniel Siegal's book, The Whole Brain Child
"If you want one reason to be patient with your child during a meltdown, remember this. Their brain hasn't fully formed yet."
Why do children often struggle with emotional impulse control?
While children's brains are highly malleable compared to adult brains, they often struggle with emotional impulse control and self-regulation.
This is because their prefrontal cortex, the brain's control centre, is relatively small in early childhood. It is still developing decision-making, critical thinking, emotion regulation, thought organisation and empathy. In contrast, your adult brain is fully developed. Therefore, nurture and strengthen your child's brain by modelling regulation, decision-making, critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
In a young child's brain, emotions are mainly processed in the amygdala, responsible for the fight, flight or freeze response. In contrast, parents process emotions more logically in the prefrontal cortex. Children are more likely to enter a dysregulated fight, flight or freeze state because their amygdala processes emotions first.
Understanding the phases of child brain development can help
Often we see parents expecting that their child can calm themselves down with the right tools. However, children simply cannot achieve this without help, support and effective modelling. Children depend on adults to demonstrate and teach effective emotional regulation techniques. They require co-regulation support to activate mirror neurons and learn appropriate behaviours through imitation. In the early years, brain development is still around 10% by age four. Introducing visual and creative mindfulness techniques is essential for their brain development and personal growth.
At Mind Station & OKIDO, we are passionate about helping children develop emotional intelligence skills in the early years. We also support primary years, helping children better identify and express their emotions and feelings. We show children and parents how to use creative breathing tools with adult support. These tools empower children to regulate their nervous system more effectively. Children also enjoy inventing their own techniques. This autonomy supports emotional development and self-discovery!
What does this mean for parenting? The I.C.E. Method
Another tool we love to share with parents is the I.C.E method. Use it when your child’s amygdala is dysregulated.
I - Help them identify the emotion and feeling they are experiencing. Use empathetic language to acknowledge their feeling. Eg. I can see you’re feeling frustrated with your lego. That must feel hard.
C - Co regulate by sitting together and connecting back to the breath. We recommend a creative breathing tool here for maximum engagement and immediate effect. If they don’t want to breathe, that’s okay. Keep modelling and breathing yourself and they will eventually join in.
E - Explore what caused the emotion by helping them to strengthen their prefrontal cortex. Look towards being problem solvers together, working as a team to find the trigger or cause.
We thought it would be useful to outline the key differences between your brain and your child’s brain. Accept that they cannot control, manage and calm their emotions without an adult brain's support and help.
Key Differences in Adult and Child Brains
| Aspect | Adult Brain | Child Brain |
| Malleability | Less malleable | Higher malleability & adaptability |
| Executive Functions | Heightened | Struggles with impulse control, decision making |
| Emotion Processing | Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) | Amygdala |
| Language Development | Well-established | Begins |
| Attention/Focus | Better sustained | Prone to distractions, stronger emotional responses |
| Memory Retention | Strong | Memory formation begins |
Further Reading Written by expert Adult and Children's Mindset Coach, Chloe Kock, Meet My Brain Team introduces four key brain areas. These areas relate to emotional regulation and expression for you and your child. Are you ready to meet Piko, Ava, Harv and Vee? Learn how your amazing brain works in a fun, accessible way. Find out more here.
Messy Monster overcomes all sorts of mishaps, misadventures and all round mess-ups in Messy Goes to OKIDO. Watch Messy get into and out of strife here.
