Change. When it comes to supporting your child, do you resist it, embrace it, or feel a little bit of both?
As we move into September, a month filled with transitions, it feels fitting to discuss change. This month often brings many shifts for families. Children may be starting school or returning to a new school year after a long, relaxed summer. They may also face other significant changes at home or in activities. Understanding change can help us navigate it more smoothly. This is especially important for children with neurodivergent challenges such as ADHD, ASD, anxiety, and dyslexia.
Why Is Change So Challenging?
After a summer of relaxed schedules and fewer routines, transitioning back into structured days can be difficult. This can be particularly true for more sensitive children. Maybe your child had later bedtimes, slept in, or spent more time on screens. Perhaps family rules were a little looser over the break. Whatever the case, adjusting back to school routines can feel overwhelming.
But what exactly makes change and transitions so challenging? The answer lies in the brain.
The Science Behind Change
Change often triggers resistance in the brain. It can heighten the activity of the amygdala, the brain’s emotional centre responsible for the fight, flight, or freeze response. Our brains naturally favour familiarity because it reduces uncertainty and conserves mental energy. The more we repeat certain behaviours, the more ingrained these patterns become.
When we introduce something new, it disrupts familiar routines and patterns in daily life. This might be a different routine, a new school, or an unfamiliar activity. The brain interprets this disruption as a potential threat. This reaction activates the amygdala and can cause feelings of anxiety, nervousness, and worry.
So, What’s the Solution?
To help the brain accept and embrace upcoming changes, we need to create positive experiences around these transitions. These might include starting at a new school or transitioning into a new grade. They also include returning to a familiar school routine after holidays or breaks. Making these changes feel less intimidating is key for children and parents.
Practical Tips for Supporting Your Child Through Transitions
Understanding how the brain responds to change is the first step. Here are some practical strategies to help your child adjust to new routines:
- Establish Micro-Connections: When your child shares something with you—a drawing, a painting, or a LEGO creation—take the time to ask open-ended questions and engage in their learning process. Praise their efforts, which boosts oxytocin (the “happy hormone”) in their brain. This helps them feel safe, seen, and understood, building positive feelings as they approach upcoming changes.
- Discuss Change in a Positive Light: Talk with your child about natural changes that happen around us, such as the changing seasons, how animals adapt, or even how food ripens. Framing change as a normal and beneficial part of life can help your child view it more positively.
- Highlight Excitement About the New School Year: In the days leading up to school, encourage your child to think about one thing they’re excited for each day. Whether it’s seeing friends, starting a new subject, or joining an extracurricular activity, associating these positive experiences with change can help shift their perspective.
- Encourage New Experiences: Build confidence by helping your child try new tasks or hobbies. Whether it’s learning a new sport, trying an instrument, or experimenting with a creative activity, embracing small changes can make larger transitions feel less daunting. Try these fun workshops to encourage creativity and curiosity.
- Prepare, Prepare, Prepare: Use the week before school starts to gradually ease back into routines. Organise school supplies, adjust bedtimes, and include a fun activity related to change, like creating a vision board for the upcoming year. The more prepared your child feels, the more confident they will be about the transition.
By helping your child view change as a natural, positive part of life, you empower them. They can face new experiences confidently. With these strategies, transitions can become opportunities for growth. They do not need to remain ongoing sources of stress.
Even Messy Monster gets anxious. Watch with your child to find out how Messy overcame Tummy Flutters in this episode of Messy Goes to OKIDO.
